Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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