yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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