He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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