hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
