the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
