i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
