My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize