So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
