So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Randomize
