There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
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I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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