I wish i was in the wii world.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
