I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
