I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
