i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
