Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
thus making me awesome and them whores
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
