Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Randomize
