Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
