You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
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It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The chlamydia really affected his face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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