Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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