the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I miss vodka workout Fridays
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
