he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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