Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
