worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
