its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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