I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
