So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I need to sanitize my soul.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
