i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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