He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize