Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
