big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
