why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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