Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
