ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He kissed a someone with a penis
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
