i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
