i need an iv and a liver transplant
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
It's never too late to be topless.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
