Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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