You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
