i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
