after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Less talking, more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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