party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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