Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
