I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
