1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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