Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
So much rum. So many feels.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
