Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
