You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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