...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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