so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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