I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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