I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
