i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
