Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize