I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
