...so i touched it.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
