For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
