I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
