you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
