Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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