It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
We are two peas in an std pod
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
