Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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