I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
