some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
