This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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